Although executive coaching involves a paying client, the process is not transactional. Coaching is not a vending machine where you put money in and get a neatly packaged product out. Coaching is relational. If you are considering working with an executive coach, be aware that an effective coaching relationship requires these five essential ingredients.
1. Commitment
Commitment to coaching takes motivation, resolve and investment. Commitment requires a high level of motivation that is known and understood by you. Imagine how ineffective your coaching experience would be if you were unaware your motivation was just to please your boss. But if you are aware your motivation is to resolve conflict so you can have better relationships at work, then you have a firm reason for showing up at every coaching session.
Further, you must resolve to stay committed. There will inevitably be times in coaching where you feel yourself losing steam, getting frustrated or not progressing. While that may seem like a sign you should stop, it’s actually an indication you need to dig in further. Why are you not progressing? What do you need from your coach (or yourself) to move forward? Without resolve, it will be easy to abandon the process at the very moment you need it most.
Finally, there must be a financial investment — either from your company or out of your own pocket — for true commitment. When money is involved, uncomfortable feelings can emerge. And coaching makes for a great opportunity to explore those feelings.
2. Time
With commitment comes protection of the time required for coaching. Meeting with a coach tends to become the appointment people push into the margins — or worse, cancel if a more urgent matter arises. The problem with that, though, is it undercuts one of the essential ingredients for effective coaching — the time it takes. Time must be allotted, protected and honored for the process to work. Clients who continually reschedule, cancel or are late to coaching sessions aren’t respecting the coaching process. Imagine trying to date someone you claim you care about, but consistently canceling your dinner plans.
Deep, meaningful coaching takes time — both the time you spend in each session and the time you each commit to working together.
3. Coachability
Have you ever been to a magic show where the magician hypnotizes an audience member? The magician will say that hypnosis won’t work if you aren’t open to the idea of it. Those who have been on stage clucking like a chicken will tell you they believed in and were open to the idea of being hypnotized. Anyone who isn’t will not be prone to clucking on command. The same is true of coaching. If you do not enter the coaching contract open to the process, you will get nowhere. Being coachable is one of the biggest prerequisites for coaching success. Those who are open to the idea of coaching, who are willing to engage earnestly in the process, will absorb and ascend because of it.
4. Chemistry
Like any relationship, there needs to be chemistry between coach and client. This is why it is important you get a say in who your coach is. Chemistry is hard to describe but easy to sense. You can’t just put down on paper the type of coach you want to work with — you’ll need to experience some of that in person. If you do not gel with a coach, feel free to search for another. Coaches are very human and, in that, have very different styles, personalities and approaches. Be sure to discuss your lack of chemistry with your coach first, however, as there may be a chance to course correct.
5. Trust
Trust in a coach means you believe in their ability to be a good partner for you. You cannot make progress in coaching if you don’t truly believe your coach is highly competent, expertly trained and an honest player. Further, you have to fully believe your coach is bringing their own commitment to the table. You can be committed, protective of the time required, coachable, and even feel you have chemistry with the coach, but if you don’t have confidence in their abilities, nothing else will matter.
